Body Image

Even growing up, I was never one to stress about my body. I was curvy and busty but my belly was flat and I wasn't 'fat' so I was happy. My body image has always been healthy and I never bought into the 'skinny is the way to be' thing.
When I was 18 I began working out religiously. I started training at The Boneyard, first with my brother Jordan then later with Jocco - after I talked him into checking the place out. We were both hooked and working out became our first real shared hobby. Five nights a week and Sunday mornings we were there (such is life without children) and the weight melted off of both of us. We dropped excess fat, built muscle and toned our entire bodies - all while learning how to be badass.
I dropped from a size 10/12 jeans to a size 6, got myself a tight six-pack - and went from a DD cup to a large C. I was hot. Smoking hot. Though I had Jocco (and was falling for him) the attention I recieved from men was an ego booster. I looked damn good and I was a tough bitch; it was like an ego cocktail.
After I shaved my head, I drew eyes wherever I went. I had a unique look that your average person didn't see every day and I got more compliments from men than I had ever thought possible. Though we did once have a waitress refuse to serve us because she thought we were skinheads, but that's another story.
After Cameron moved in with us, our workouts slowed and Jocco and I both put on a little more weight again. We still looked good . . . just not as good. I kept my head shaved until after we were married, then decided to grow it out again when I got pregnant with Lucy.
Pregnancy is one thing that really messes with you. On one hand you feel beautiful because your body is doing such a natural thing, blossoming with this new life you're creating but at the same time, you're gaining weight like crazy. Your body changes so much; your breasts get fuller, your hips wider, you belly breaks out in stretchmarks . . .
I'll tell ya, that first stretch mark was a hard pill to swallow.
After Lucy came, my body held on to a lot of the weight I'd gained during pregnancy. I blame this on the c-section, by the way. I quickly came to terms with my stretch marks but still have issues with the scar across my belly, though having my VBAC has gone a long way toward helping me heal.
When I got pregnant with Joy I was the exact same weight that I was when I got pregnant with Lucy though throughout my second pregnancy I carried the weight so differently. With Joy I was literally ALL BELLY. I didn't even look pregnant from the back.
The weight melted off of me after birthing her and now, at five and a half months post partum I weigh 5 lbs. less than my prepregnancy weight. My arms have tightened up again, my legs are thinner but my breasts are ginormous and my belly is just a lost cause. But I find myself not minding. My flabby, scarred, stretch-marked belly is the price I paid for bringing two perfect, beautiful girls into the world. It was a small price and I would have gladly paid a much higher one to be as blessed as I am today.